Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Golden, give it more thought please. I say it with most respect and care for you. You were making such progress...
There is no harm in casual sex or friends with benefits if that’s what was decided from the get go. However that’s not what happened. I know you were the one who ended it but the reason was him not wanting to be exclusive with you and pretty much not wanting relationship with you. Yet you continue texting him about missing him and now asking to meet him so you can make out and kiss him (he might be making out with other women eww).
What message do you send?
Imho you are sending indirect message that you are desperate and maybe don’t really value yourself high enough that even knowing he doesn’t want relationship with you you still want to make out (easy?). If you have a concern why you keep attracting wrong men and how to act so you don’t attract the kind of men, the first step would be acting with high respect for yourself. If you must have that gift he can ship it to you, or you can meet few months from now. I could see if it was 10 year long relationship or marriage and you need more closure but you barely knew the guy, it was non exclusive and casual and brief, plus you said you miss first guy and now you miss this one too?
Trust me texting or calling or meeting this guy or any other wrong guys is just a bad idea. If you want to make changes, today is the day to start. Have you talked to your therapist about it?
Please just think some more about it.
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Hey Divine -- thank you for your caring concern.
I disagree with your perspective though, respectfully.
I want to see him to end things properly in person and to get my gift. He agreed and thought it was a great idea since we ended things abruptly by text.
I will only see him once, not casually continue to date him. It is not to kiss him again -- but that will be a temptation. This is to say goodbye properly -- what is wrong with that?
We dated for seven weeks and things were amazing. Nothing bad happened between us. I think it would be very nice and great for closure to have a proper in person conversation about things. I also want to remain friends with him. I only mentioned that it would be tempting to kiss him. There is no guarantee that I will, but I may, and I don't see this as not having self-respect. I have slept with someone else since breaking up with him (casually). So whether he is seeing other people now, it doesn't matter. I know he is a cheater, and therefore, I don't want him.
I do not see this as lacking self-respect. I see this goodbye as showing respect for what we shared together, which was quite beautiful and special. He has told me what we had was very special and very unique. We both feel the same way.