Look, golden_eve has made her decision about what she wants to do, and while it's okay to raise red flags for her, it's another thing to badger over and over again after she has said, I hear what you are saying but I feel comfortable with handling it this way. We can care and be protective but in the end it's golden_eve's choice what she will do. Telling her she lacks self-respect over and over again and disrespecting her decision over and over again does not seem supportive or helpful to me.

No one is all good or all bad, and golden_eve has mentioned this guy's good qualities many times yet people still argue with her that he's a bad guy.

She's not a child, she's not immature, and she's clearly not naive. She's struggling because this guy has good qualities and bad (like any other human being). She has decided the bad outweighs the good for her, but that she'd like to keep some kind of contact. That's her choice.

I am friends with numerous men that I had affairs (not extramarital just short-term) with. I enjoy seeing how their lives have progressed and what they are doing now. Some of them have turned into professional connections. She had a fling with this guy, they ended things amicably, and now they are staying acquaintances. Not a big deal.

She wants one last conversation in person instead of leaving it to text. Maybe she has questions she wants answered to help her get closure, or maybe she wants to say things to get off her chest.

In her moment of vulnerability she mentioned she might kiss him. Big whoop. It doesn't mean she lacks self respect, it just means that she;s honest with the conflict in her feelings.

SO many people are demonizing this guy, who is her friend, by the way, and we don't know the circumstances of his cheating in the past. We don't know his behaviors toward women. There are a lot of assumptions being made.

I can understand why having to defend your decisions over and over again would be triggering.