I was recently advised on a different thread about the policy of psychcentral regarding victims and perpetretors of abuse:

"Pedophiles, rapists, and others that have abused another individual physically, psychologically, emotionally or sexually (generally real or acted-upon) are not welcome here because our focus is on support for victims of such abuse; the two are not compatible with one another. Exceptions can be made on a case-by-case basis."

I'm not a pedophile or a rapist but I do now recognize that not only have I been a victim of abuse, I have also been a perpetrator. Mostly this goes into the category of not respecting people's boundaries or even being aware that they exist.

I was raised with emotional and physical abuse. I didn't feel loved as a . child by my parents and when it was my turn I didn't know how to love my son properly... It was not at the level I experienced growing up. I don't know how much was just . bad parenting vs what crosses over into abuse. There was definitely some neglect as well. It didn't help that his father died when my son was 8. I'm sorry about my failures as a parent.

Then there were other people... I developed an erotomania once, which passed away[thank goodness] without crossing over into stalking. But it could have turned out differently. I was very obsessed. It was just some peculiarities in my delusional belief system that prevented me from stalking since we were already communicating secretly through the radio in my car on a particular radio station...

I'm not equating abuse with mental illness. However there is some cross over. I believe it is true that people who were abused as children are more likely to develop mental illness and also to grow up to be abusers themselves. I also don't think there is a one size fits all account of abuse. Some people have genuine remorse once it is pointed out to them not only what they did but how damaging it was.

I have a poor memory and am plagued by guilt sometimes for my past misdeeds. According to the above quoted policy, if I admit I have abused people in the past then I am not welcome here.