Quote:
Originally Posted by cielpur
I would never be friends with a guy I had a fling with for 7 weeks, who treated me the way this guy treated eve. I wouldn't even want a reminder of that time. I mean, I just don't understand why eve needs that Christmas present from him.
I also don't Facebook add men I've had flings with, because that's just wrong, in my opinion. Why do they need to stay in contact with me if they rejected me? They don't. And I don't need to stay in contact with them.
If a man I date rejects me romantically, he doesn't get to walk away with my friendship as some type of consolation prize. You reject me, that's it. Buh-bye. I don't want to be friends with a man who has rejected me romantically. Because you're not really friends after you've dated; you're just casual acquaintances at best.
I think eve got a LOT of great advice here about her situation. But I find eve's defensive responses very strange, because of the way she has flip flopped about how she feels about this guy.
On one hand, she says she's moved on and already had sex with another guy. Yet, then she posts about how much she misses 7-week-fling guy, who she's already Facebook friends with (yet she asked if that was a good idea, but then when is told no, it isn't, gets mad which makes no sense to me, personally).
My advice is, don't ask people for advice that you don't want to hear. If you already know what you are going to do, then don't seek opinions from other people who may disagree with you. That's what I've seen happen here. My advice didn't help so I stopped responding to eve's posts. She obviously has made up her own mind, so she doesn't need anyone's advice.
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Why do you assume that if I say I had a fling with someone that it means they rejected me if we are not now together? That is not the case at all and hence why these men and I are still friends, because there was no rejection involved. Please stop assuming that because something did not work out that rejection was involved. It is like you want us to feel bad about ourselves.
Two of the men I'm thinking about in particular, we never had any discussions about our affairs being long-term; they ended when they ended and it had nothing to do with rejection. We either both decided TOGETHER that it wasn't working or the affair itself was self-limiting so there was never any intent for it to go on.
One of my affairs in particular was with a good friend and afterwards we laughed about it because we both thought we'd be horrible together so we went back to being friends. There was no rejection involved. Not every relationship ends because one person rejects or harms the other person.
And golden_eve was not rejected by this guy. If anything, she's the one that did the rejecting because she's the one who ended it.
You are making a big assumption about the nature of my relationships with these men with absolutely no information. I am sorry that you were rejected by some men, but I was not rejected by these men that I am still friends with. I think you are projecting, which is not useful in trying to give support here.