I’m behind on my studies and it’s only the first week. We need to clean because we get inspected on Tuesday. “Ana” has been gone for a little. I’m still wary to put anything in my mouth for fear she’ll show up again. I feel stupid and inadequate. I feel like I can’t think. I know I need a therapist one that listens but I don’t want to change clinics yet again but I like the dissolvable medications. I actually take then even when I don’t want to for fear insurance will take it away if I’m non-compliant. I’m IDK okay I guess. I can’t tell what I feel. I just want to curl into a ball sobbing and fall asleep and wake up wednesday. I’m supposed to see pdoc friday but my husband is heading a field trip for our co op. My son miss his appointment but he’s not being compliant. I told him we’ll make him one when his taking his meds but we have to get him back to his therapist. We’re running out of money for gas/food. Everything is going good for us why do I feel so hard on myself. I’m a ***** and I know it. I mean I try. I really do but my fuse is to short. My son and cousins are going to go laser tagging.