I just wanted to say I understand. Last night I felt similar to you. I started going through my closest friends in my head to see if I thought I could try & message any of them & concluded that they wouldn't want to hear from me. I went as far as seeing if the Samaritans had a texting facility but they don't. It was too late at night for talking & I didn't want anyone to come and ask me what I was doing.

I eventually dropped off and this morning...not great - but definitely not in the same place & as the day and afternoon came have been pretty good.

Nights can be lonely & allow too much time to think.