Trying to have sex with my h triggered an attack that was involuntary and really scary to me. I jumped out of bed, ran to the bathroom, and started crying. But, I was outside my body. Inside, I was not feeling anything. I had jumped out of my skin. My mood swing was 180 degrees in 30 seconds. It was automatic and I feel I can’t control it now.

At least I recouped right away. There was no fight with h this time. I just told him I didn’t want him to touch me. It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t do anything wrong, except he just triggers me. I guess that’s because he doesn’t do it right. I can’t stand the struggle anymore.

I felt like I was trying to please him. I really didn’t even want to be there. It just doesn’t feel right. . PTSD