Quote:
Originally Posted by SledgeDedge12
I have no goals, no hopes or dreams, no ambitions, and nothing to look forward to in the long run. I am just existing. Day by day I exist and nothing more. There are little pleasures here and there, and maybe little events with family or other little pleasures in the near future I might look forward to, but that's really it. My life is mostly social isolation attached with existential dread. I ignore the future ahead and its consequences because now is now, tomorrow will bring it's own worries, even though I know that tomorrow may be worse. But I feel that there is no future for me. I am what I am. That is all that I am. Existence. Suicide would end that. Should I stop existing? Or should I keep trudging through my meaningless life?
|
I feel this way nearly all the time. I do "do things" to some extent, but they ultimately feel empty and I return to the feeling you describe. I don't know how to quell that feeling and I've been trying for so long--I'm so scared about continuing to feel this way now well into middle age. I always thought I'd "turn a corner" or something and that just doesn't seem to be something to reasonably count on any more. I understand how "stopping existing" can make so much sense (and more sense than other options). I get resentful when others--meaning well--deny the legitimacy of that viewpoint. Just sharing some thoughts, and empathizing... I hope that things change for the better for you (and for me) but also how that hope can seem flimsy and foolish...