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Originally Posted by Sparklingdance84
Today in therapy I told my therapist something I thought that was going on with a friendship of mine , and then she sort of didn't believe me and said that I was most likely wrong and asked me what made me believe that and I do admit that I tend to overthink everything ... After that I didn't really want to talk about the issue anymore , and she said it didn't matter , that I had to , that I was throwing a tantrum by bringing it in and then not wanting to talk about it (I felt she was almost mad , like she was very different from what she usually is)... I was like whaatt... to be honest I felt uncomfortable, I felt she was telling me off and then she started lecturing me as if I was a kid of hers. Is this okay ? Is she a good therapist? Is this good for my own progress ? Should I get another therapist? Is she pushing me too hard ? What should I do ? Or am I again overthinking everything?
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Personally, I'd rather have someone (therapist or not) tell me what they think rather than validate every single reaction and construction of the world I have (distorted or not). I'm not always correct about the way I think about things (especially if it's not my experience per se but a relational one); it's pretty much impossible to know what's going on with someone else. Relationships where I have to just agree with everything someone else thinks and can't even say maybe it's not that way are awful. And it doesn't allow for growth either, which for me is being open to other people and the way I approach them rather than shut off.
I'd encourage you to look honestly at the context of what you were discussing with your T (my guess is it was pretty unique, as you don't report this happens all the time). Is it likely something distorted (and negative) about yourself or the world? If so, don't expect your T to collude in your self loathing or twisted beliefs about other people. You can get upset about the methodology of her response or the special choice of words, but maybe you just need to deal with the content of what you said and what it means more than process.
On the other hand, you can certainly tell your T you don't want this kind of interaction and say that it's not helpful to you, if it fact it isn't. You can say it felt demeaning or you didn't like the word "tantrum" that she used or whatever it is you think and feel. It's your therapy and you can handle it however you want, or simply leave and find someone else who does things just as you want.