This week EMDR T and I were discussing our work. I was trying to explain why I felt thing were taking some time. However, I was trying to beat around the bush. Finally, without thinking, I told her I needed to be completely honest.with her. I told hee that I really struggle with trust and while I know I should be able to trust her I don't trust her enough at this point to discuss some of the details I need to tell her. I told her NOBODY knows any details of my abuse as it has never been needed. I told her before I can proceed with thay part of my trauma, I feel like I need to work on building our relationship. I was mortified after I said it...but she was wonderful and thanked me for being honest. We discussed it a bit and agreed that we have been trying too hard and need to slow down a bit.

Later, I emailed her thanking her for understanding and told her that my lack of trust had nothing to do with anything she has or hadn't done. She was so sweat and said ahe didn't take it personally. She was grateful I feel safe enough to tell her.