ocdandme,
I can relate with much of what you relate, although I have moved on to fairly functional relationships and don't have the severe shyness I used to as a kid. I had ocd too and I know what you mean about the thoughts just being so ingrained -- it's my "normal." The obsessive type is so difficult to treat and deal with. Have you done any reading -- books or online? The oc foundation has a good website--I believe it's ocfoundation.org. Or just google it.

My daily challenge is CBT in combatting my ocd. Most days I try to have a 'positive attitude.' But the thoughts just bear down. It's tough.

I have a really good therapist whom I trust. Why don't you seek out one? or a minister or someone? I take a whole host of meds--one is risperdal which is actually an anti-psychotic (even though I'm not) but it helps with the thought patterns.

Don't give up. Don't let ocd, or shyness, or whatever be the winner. Don't you think there's a better life out there?