Quote:
Originally Posted by SledgeDedge12
I have no goals, no hopes or dreams, no ambitions, and nothing to look forward to in the long run. I am just existing. Day by day I exist and nothing more. There are little pleasures here and there, and maybe little events with family or other little pleasures in the near future I might look forward to, but that's really it. My life is mostly social isolation attached with existential dread. I ignore the future ahead and its consequences because now is now, tomorrow will bring it's own worries, even though I know that tomorrow may be worse. But I feel that there is no future for me. I am what I am. That is all that I am. Existence. Suicide would end that. Should I stop existing? Or should I keep trudging through my meaningless life?
|
Hi.
Just wanted you to know that I feel 100% the same. I am so very alone. I have a friend/friends that come to see me here and there but I absolutely do not feel like it's done out of love, caring, or friendship. It feels more like they do it out of guilt of some kind, and I neither want nor need their pity. I too use the word exist. Because I'm not living in any way shape or form, I'm existing.
If I wasn't so terrified of what comes next I would absolutely leave this existence.
It saddens me terribly to know that you and others feel this horrible soul crushing way.