Hi Guy`s
Before I tell part of my story , please be so kind as to reference this link for more info , if you wish to. Thanks , link :
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...ent-disorder-0
It may seem simple , a parent gets sick and passes. The person grieves and moves on. What is that person is so wrapped up in staying alive there is no time to grieve .
That person is me. I have not cried since the 1980s`
I lost my mom in 2005 , on June 6th , then my dad in 2015 on June 15th. I was a caregiver , a companion , and hopefully I was a friend .
Now I am just me , only me. I have my music , but not enough to make a living , I enjoy writing but again , not enough to make a living.
Or can I make a living at both ? My self confidence is so low , I find it hard to like myself. I enjoy helping others because when I do I feel like I am at that moment helping myself.
How can anyone who has lost so much and seen the horrors of life that I have ever be whole again ?
I am getting help , after watching Kati Morton`s videos I decided I could no longer go on the way I was and if I did not seek help , then it would only be a matter of time before my health would be in danger.
If anyone has any ideas other than the usual course of help such as Mindfulness / CBT / DBT / Exposure Therapy , etc. I would be grateful.
My therapist and I agree I need to move on , so other issues in my life can be addressed.
I need to get past this so I can live , my T has started a new type of visualization & relaxation therapy , and the first part seemed to show progress.
I believe it will help , however my lack of self confidence and being the eternal pessimist , is telling me of course it won`t work , even though I choose to think otherwise.
That my friends is the great burden of having little to no self confidence , you can never truly believe in anything , but here I am , writing this / asking for help and advice.
What little self confidence I have left is telling me you guys are going to step up once again and help me , and for that , I thank you .
Take care
Keyplayer
