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Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton
IMHO it doesn't tend to work. That person must fill their time and typically they do with someone else who isn't you and that they grow to like better and put first. Also, you spend 40+ hours at work and want to talk about it but, they have nothing to compare with the all friend inducing "I know what you mean" but, if you really don't... it is going to grate.
I suppose it is possible but I haven't seen it. If you have kids.. your gonna talk about them. As I can tell by the 10 or so semi acquaintances who do fill my day with conversations about their kids even though I am working and how can they seriously think i care?
I am not just making up lines I just am learning from experience. I need to find fellow loners like me to have a "meaningful" relationship in the first instance.
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You can find meangful friendships with quality people who are similar to you but not exact clones.
People with adult children talk about them as much as others talk about other important matters. People who have pets talk about their pets, people with jobs talk about jobs, people with hobbies will talk about hobbies, people with siblings or nieces will talk about siblings or nieces etc As long as people don’t talk about it 24/7 that’s just how it is.
It’s not realistic to expect people only talk about specific things or things that matter to you. Close friend of mine (probably my best friend at the moment) doesn’t have kids but is close to her brother. I’d say she probably talks about her brother more than I do about my daughter (he has health problems).
If you want to form close friendship you’d care about the person so you’d listen to what matters to them. You’ll never find people who’d only discuss what matters to you. Well people might not be interested listening about other people’s jobs especially after work day. Or some people have such emotionally demanding jobs that the last thing they need is to talk about it after work day. Of people want to talk about their job only to people in the same field as it’s easuer to relate.
Also not working the entire week doesn’t mean people are looking for something to fill their time or aren’t busy. Some people work 12-14 hour shifts three days or nights a week, some work from home so their hours vary, some might not work all week but might have very time consuming hobbies and they might be selling what they make, which will make them very busy or maybe they are care givers for elderly parents half a day.
It’s not easy to find close friends as we are getting older but I’d say your expectations are a bit unrealistic