Hi,
Ah, now as I start to try to explain a sort of 'log jam' effect happens. I think those growing up dynamics can be SUBTLE! And with that crazy making, yet you know its there but when I try to 'prove' it, I feel like i'm gonna come out with a load of spiel.
My mum was N.ish, me and my sisters were actors in her fantasy world. When I was adult she wanted access to my partner and my son, I could be dead as far as she was concerned, - underneath that is-. thats more like appropriation, than invasion.
As a child somehow her wishes were carried out through me. I have a photo of me at about 4 yrs, the pose wasnt natural, I was posing for the camera and to be the fantasy that she wanted that was pervasive all through our childhood. Nothing to help one learn to adapt to reality or to learn to enjoy it, like that it really is quite a pleasant thing to leave on time for school, to manage and to adapt to the reality of time, to learn competence.

Its different for everyone, some are literally invaded by physical abuse.
Its so hard to put in a nutshell, but if that word triggered something for you, then you're probably onto something. For me, the distortions were so subtle, but yet caused chaos and hid some deeply nasty stuff.
thats the best i can do for now..... hope its in some way helpful??

river