Guys, I can't take it anymore...What do I do?

Today on my train ride home after work, I contemplated getting off the train and killing myself.

Another bad fight happened today before I left for work. I had to pretend to smile with all my customers, but I was in such a dark place and said so many stupid things. I know it's affecting my work.

I still feel like I want to die now. I've never felt pushed this close to the brink. I can't escape this horrible situation, try though I might. I know it's not going to change. I don't know what to do anymore...