First post in months (maybe over a year? I dunno).

This funny thing happens, I can be fine for months just living in my hermit shell and once I decide to come out and start working on myself (meditating, yoga, eating healthier) it's like it shakes loose all these horrible feelings and I find myself wondering why anyone chooses to live at all?
I'm not suicidal by any means. But maybe hopeless. There is nothing particularly *wrong* with my life, I've taken every tragedy in stride and overcome every disease that has possessed me at one point or another (alcoholism, anxiety, death and suicide) and yet what's it for? Even on the best day, the world is full of violence, poverty, hunger, illness. Even on the best day, my job is going to take a piece of my soul and my bills are going to come due and someone is going to wish me harm. Even on the best day the planet is on the brink of self annihilation via nuclear holocaust or tyranny or climate change or whatever the boogieman of the week may be. I can't even go to the mall without fear of someone opening fire upon a crowd or open my mail without fear of some new scam or old debt resurfacing or worse...
How does one find the will to live in a world that seems very intent on being a horrible place? Where even the kindest and most well intended individual can betray you without a moment's notice? Where even the best relationships become a tax on your very well being, not because it is broken but because it is happy and requires such sacrifice and work?
What I'm saying is, how does one live and not fall into existential dread? How does one be a conscious, caring citizen without also being crushed under the weight of truth? How does one accept the world honestly without also becoming resentful?

That is to say, I guess I'm depressed again. But how does one escape depression that is not based on chemicals (so far as I can tell) but on a sincere observation of reality?