I don't care if I fall. I can get up. Maybe I will, maybe I won't get hurt. I like the rush of it being possible but not being afraid of it anyway. That sounds psycho but it's how I'm trying to look at life. I'm trying to take the rush feeling without the fear. That's actually from a Buddhist nun's book.
I want to get out of here. I wanted to go to my endocrinologist appointment today. I have a well defined lump on my neck where the lump that wasn't an issue before has grown considerably in 5 months.
This will be the part that shouldn't bother me but very much does, so much more than the lump. I want to go to the gym. I want to get on the elliptical. I want to run. I want to go to kickboxing class tonight. I want yoga after. I want to not be here!