Last night when I went to bed my mind was racing. I couldn't get to sleep. I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder and Depression and began taking Effexor a little over 30 days ago. I don't think my problem was so much that my mind was racing but rather the disturbing thoughts I was having. I always have this fear that I am going to lose my mind and go crazy. I have these feelings very often and that alone have sent me into more panic then I can handle at times. However, last night I thought, what if I go crazy and hurt one of the kids. Then I started thinking, my god, what the hell is wrong with me. I'm really losing it this time. I was so paranoid and ashamed of my thoughts that I went into my sons room and brought him in to sleep with us. I felt like crying and screaming because I am so frustrated with these awful thoughts. I would never hurt my children. But why am I having thoughts of going crazy and hurting them? Sometimes I find that I can't even look into their eyes because I am so ashamed of myself. Somehow I drifted off to sleep and woke up thinking, am I panicking? Then I started to analyse why I was thinking those horrible thoughts. That sent me even further into panic. It's like a vicious circle. I'm so scared that I'm going to end up in a mental hospital if I can't stop this pattern of thinking. I can say that since starting the Effexor it has dulled some of the sensations of my panic and does help but not enough. The more I thought about it this morning, my lips and arms were getting numb and I told my husband what was going on. He said that my feelings are coming from my deepest darkest fear and that is causing anxiety. He told me that because I have anxiety that I must learn how to divert my thoughts elsewhere. Easier said then done. I tried. I tried thinking of a peaceful place. I was there for about a second and reverted back to the disturbing thoughts. Am I alone? Is this more then anxiety? I am seeing a therapist and plan on speaking with her about this however, I need some assurance now. Assurance that I'm not going crazy. I'm really scared and think sometimes that this will never end. Please help.