Sorry Tish, I agree with Scaredandconfused. You're going to drive him away if you can't step back.

You wrote: 'He did this' or 'He made me feel this way', (or similar). But your feelings are not his responsibility. He's just living his life.

Put a smile on your face, grit your teeth and welcome the girl. Then he won't be forced to secretly text her.

His choice of partner is none of your business.

Sorry for being brutal, but you've had a great relationship with your son so far. Don't spoil it now with controlling and emotionally blackmailing behaviour.