Quote:
Originally Posted by Mully
Why would he admit fault or regret, though? I get that you are hurt, but I honestly don’t think your T did anything wrong. He’s not a mind reader.
I think it’s totally fair to go in there and express yourself- say hey, I never ask for extra help and I was hurting the other day, and felt like I needed some support and texted you, and didn’t feel satisfied with your response because _____. Take the conversation from there, and perhaps in the future should it come up again hopefully he will know how to help support you better. But I don’t understand how you can be disappointed when he inevitably doesn’t express fault or regret because he didn’t read between the lines.
That’s just me, though!
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One thing that's been helpful for me is to recognize that I can be incredibly angry with my T and have my feelings be valid and real, even if my T hasn't done anything wrong. The same thing is true even if I think she has done something wrong but she won't apologize for it. There are ways to repair the relationship in both situations, and exploring the angry feelings is so, so important. The first time I got white-hot infuriated by my T, it was because of a very small, very forgivable mistake. But the experience of being free to express my (admittedly mostly irrational) anger was so important and useful, and my T was very calm and helpful and took it like a champ.
I think this is a real opportunity to understand your feelings, and your feelings are real and valid regardless of whether your T or anybody here thinks his response to the text was appropriate. Therapy is messy stuff, but that's okay.