I don't know what to do. This time last year I was just starting to build a relationship with a guy I knew little about. I was scared. He was my first "real" boyfriend. I shared my first kiss with him, and later shared many other fun moments. We never had sex- but our relationship took us very close to that. He ended up leaving me. He broke up w/ me on voicemail with no reason. I asked him so many times to at least explain why and I had no idea what happened- never got any "closure". This happened in June- over 6 months ago!! I still can't get over it. He said he just wanted to be alone- and 2-3 months later, he found a new g/f. I was pissed. It's his own life, and I realize that- but I hate that he's so happy, and I am never going to get a boyfriend. I still don't know why he dated me to begin with. He ever told me in the message he's sorry he ever dated me to begin with- that it should have never happened. He said he'd still try to be friends w/ me- but he tries to control the way I'm supposed to be his friend. I only talk to him online now once in a while. I ask him how his day went- and it's like he tries to make me jealous. He tells me how wonderful it was and how his new girlfriend is the best thing ever and I will never be as mature as she ever will be. But then when I see him alone for a few moments when he sees me at work he acts differently. Like he really cares. I don't get it. And why do I still care so much? why is it so hard for me to get over? It's not like we slept together- so why is this such a big deal? It only lasted 6 months. He was never my type to begin with either. It hurts so bad. I'm not confident enough to feel that I deserve something better and I don't know how to get a boyfriend and it kills me.
I wish I could get over this obsession of what he does every minute of every day. I wish I could stop thinking "what is he doing now"
Yet it's so easy for me to avoid him when he comes into my place of work- I'm royally confused! Please Help!