I feel like crap...

I've called the health care centre today and my doc will call me on Wednesday morning.

I also called my psychologist and he contacted the staff on call today to
see if maybe I need a change of medication. He also got me an app to
see him this afternoon at 3.

I just feel like hiding away...

I cried so hard seeing my psychologist...
We talked deep about how I look upon myself... and how I'm feeling sort of unreal...
It's so hard to change one's view upon oneself!!!!

I've always felt like an outsider... not worthy of much...

In all I say and do... I have to check and control that I'm doing or saying the right thing... I don't mean just a tiny bit... oh no!... ALL THE TIME
My thoughts are: too many... too deep... too wide... TOO TOO MUCH...

Honestly... I don't like being me at all.