This isn't really bipolar related, sorry. I just don't post anywhere else.

I have this good friend who I used to hang out with every weekend at friend's houses because we went to separate high schools. He's always the life of the party. We would go to the movies or watch silly tv shows or go swimming at 1am. He's great. He graduated a year before me and went off to join the coast guard so I didn't see him much for awhile.

Then he got some bad news. He had cancer. He got medical leave and starting chemo and all of that. He was in treatment for a very long time and went through several surgeries. One resulted in his losing his leg. With my high anxiety I only managed to get the courage to leave the house to visit him there a handful of times. But we would always talk through text and he understood. I still felt bad.

This was like 2 years ago. He had 'beat' cancer and was living life. Since then he got married and had a beautiful little girl.

Today I woke up and saw a video he made to his facebook friends.. His cancer came back. It was in one of his lungs but then spread to his liver and pancreas. Maybe more..I don't recall. The doctors said chemo won't do anything this time and it's inoperable. He's terminal with a few months to live. Still being drugged up to get as much time as possible but what is even the point if he's unable to go live the rest of his life how he wants and not be in the hospital?

Sorry, just felt the need to type this out after crying. It kind of made me feel better. I just hope I can see him one last time.