I struggle with this too, as I absolutely must compartmentalize to do my job, and I sometimes feel devastated and almost in shock after dealing with harrowing material from the past. It feels like the good cheer and productivity of every day life clashes so profoundly with that stuff that whiplash happens in the transition between the two worlds. All I can do is relate to what your saying, because I haven't found a solution yet except that the role expected by everyday life kicks in, and I first act normal before feeling more normal. When I get home then, I am sometimes really sad again. Therapy is the most difficult thing I've ever tackled.