Hi,

I just wanted to chirp in and say thank you for all the time you've devoted to trying to make your marriage work. I've been on the other side, the spouse with the addiction, and I could not have made it through without the relentless support of my husband, who never gave up on me even when I really really deserved to be given up on. Coming from that perspective, I just wanted to let you know, that it is okay if you need to give up the fight. If your husband is not willing to acknowledge he even has a problem, that is a roadblock you cannot force him to get passed. But if there's any part of you that thinks your marriage might be worth saving if only you can get through to him, I would encourage you to consider having this conversation with him and telling him that you are at your breaking point and that if he wants to make the marriage work he needs to admit he has a problem and start seeking help. I can tell you honestly that being threatened with my husband leaving me did more for me getting sober than any other guilt or self-willed efforts ever did. It's not an easy journey and it's important to do some soul searching to figure out how hard you are willing to fight for him to get better, and at the end of the day there is no shame in removing yourself from an unhealthy situation. I hope you're able to find all the support you need, wishing you love, luck, and strength. <3