You make some good points--I really think part of why it got so intense with MC is that I let it go on so long without saying anything about it, even to my ex-T. It went through a phase where I felt happy and all warm and fuzzy after every session...to then crying on the way home after every session--probably a couple months of that phase before I even said anything to ex-T. I think holding it in for so long let it grow to the point that it was kind of out of control, so intense. I told myself with this T, that I'd be open with him if something started developing, because now I know some of the signs. Yet now I'm feeling the signs and am scared to say anything... so I think I at least need to revisit the topic with him (since I've brought up the fears before). I did tell him that he showed up in my dream a few weeks ago (and was scared to do that, but it was fine).

It's funny, the thing about not letting things snowball actually came up in there a few weeks ago. Mostly in relation to MC, how I wondered if he'd actually been bothered for a long time about my outside contact, then suddenly that one week was the last straw. T said that he tries to be very upfront with people--not just clients, in real-life relationships, too (including his marriage)--if something is starting to bother him, rather than waiting until it's at a breaking point. And he said he would do that with me, too. We discussed how common that can be in marriages (he does marriage counseling, too)--I said it had definitely happened with both H and me.

And wow, I can't imagine the idea of meeting with another client who had worked through transference with your T! That seems like a really odd suggestion...I'd feel the jealousy, too!