Have you tried therapy for any of these issues? It feels like when you get to a certain point it's too late, but it's not. I know people who have worked through similar stuff at that age, fwiw, one through therapy, one through just randomly meeting his wife in an online cribbage game.

I'll hit 40 this year and find it hard to make friends my own age. It's not an uncommon problem. Everyone's busy. I alternate between wanting to have friends and wanting to be alone. Sometimes I wonder if I like the idea of friends more than actually having them. It's so much work!

I've had hit or miss luck meeting people through groups and hobbies. Some hobbies seem to attract more open people than others, and some groups are just unfriendly. For a long time, I thought it was me and I persisted with the groups that weren't really that interesting or useful from a friend making perspective. Now I quit the group if it doesn't click and try a different one. I also think that it's not that abnormal for club interactions to stay at the club - I find clubs a nice way to be somewhat social without having to commit a lot of time. It's that whole 'I want friends but I would rather spend time by myself' thing for me.

Is it possible for you to move out and live alone? I stayed at home until my mid-20s and was shocked at how different things were once I was on my own. Much easier to make friends, even if it's still hard.