Most people want a T a lot older than they are. T's age doesn't matter to me except when I think that she wasn't alive when John F. Kennedy was shot, whereas I was in high school! But she's in her 50's and I'm in my 60's so she can relate to my issues just fine. We both have adult daughters, both lost our husbands though in different ways, and our mothers are both deceased. We both paint. We are the same religion.

The above is nice, but the real way we connect has nothing to do with what we have in common. We connect in the session by being present with each other, as T likes to say, "being felt". I used to feel that when I held her hand but we don't hold hands anymore. When I "go away", or dissociate, she brings me back to the present and our connection. It doesn't matter what I talk about; if I'm present with her, I feel it. If I talk too fast, I don't feel connected. T is always encouraging me to slow down and maintain eye contact with her so I can stay with the connection.