I found it really hard to connect with my last T, she hardly said anything personal (just three things). I once asked her if we could talk about children's books, another time I asked if we could chat about our favorite childhood foods. She wasn't keen on this, so we didn't. I had imagined that a therapy relationship would be a bit different to how they have turned out, and that there might have been more of a personal connection, and that the relationship would involve the T's 'self' a bit more. With my current T I am a lot more careful and I don't try to connect more than we are doing, I'm just glad that I am able to do therapy with her, I would probably be very different with her if it wasn't for my experience with my previous T, and I'm interested in how other therapists view how a relationship should be. I would prefer to have a relationship where I could be a free spirit and and be creative, and spontaneous instead of sticking to safe subjects such as my childhood and my relationship with my H and my kids.