My husband grew up with a verbally abusive father, and passive aggressive mother. After we married, he confronted them about the abuse, and some counseling was done. I was a part of one counseling session.... His parents said "We're sorry for anything we did"... But they did not keep the boundaries set by the counselor. So my husband and I decided to stop contact with them. My husband was not a very strong person at that time.. and we had a 4 year old and a 1year old.
Because of some other major betrayals (not adultry), my marriage is very strained. We are basically living separately in the same house, parenting our 11 and almost 15 year old kids the best we can.
In November, my husband decided to re-establish contact with his parents, without discussing it with me until a week before he left. He wanted to tell them that he was wrong to "keep the grandchildren away from them" and "he is giving them a clean slate". A week before he left, I begged him not to tell them these things... But to say that he wanted to start contact again and build a healthy relationship.
He agreed to my request, but when I asked him about it specifically after he returned home, he said that he couldn't keep to what we agreed, and he told them they were starting over, etc...
I feel betrayed all over again.
He has been having lots of phone calls with them, and has been putting the kids on the phone with them every week. I listened in on the last call. Everyone was polite, but my in-laws kept saying " we'll see you soon".
Now my husband wants us all to visit them. I told him I would go in the summer, and we should stay at a hotel... Space for everyone to relax, etc. He refuses. Please help me with what to say!