Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Owl
I found it really hard to connect with my last T, she hardly said anything personal (just three things). I once asked her if we could talk about children's books, another time I asked if we could chat about our favorite childhood foods. She wasn't keen on this, so we didn't. I had imagined that a therapy relationship would be a bit different to how they have turned out, and that there might have been more of a personal connection, and that the relationship would involve the T's 'self' a bit more. With my current T I am a lot more careful and I don't try to connect more than we are doing, I'm just glad that I am able to do therapy with her, I would probably be very different with her if it wasn't for my experience with my previous T, and I'm interested in how other therapists view how a relationship should be. I would prefer to have a relationship where I could be a free spirit and and be creative, and spontaneous instead of sticking to safe subjects such as my childhood and my relationship with my H and my kids.
|
Have you ever explored your wish to connect to your current and also your fear of connecting because of your experience with your last t?
I know it’s hard to separate the two experiences but they could be very different. Perhaps current t senses your fear and is playing it safe.
A lot of ts believe that the therapists use of self is the most valuable asset we have but often it’s hard to know if it is appropriate with every client.
I think that if you were to connect to that spontaneous and creative side the work would be so much deeper.
My t uses herself a lot sometimes it works and other times it doesn’t but I think that’s more to do with her personality than anything and how she delivers her sayings.
I have found that I connect more with people when they are being true to themselves and authentic.