It took a while before I started believing my T around the concept of "how bad it is/was" and sometimes I still question it. Her stance is that it isn't what happened to you that matters; it is how you experienced it that matters. So, if you experienced something as traumatic, then it was traumatic because of how your body/mind responded to the event. It doesn't matter of that event was big ugly something or not. If your body and mind responded in certain ways, then it was traumatic for you.