Hi all
I've been working with my T for more than two years now. She saw me through an escape from a toxic work situation, the ending of several lackluster and draining friendships, a refocusing on my health and weight issues and all kinds of spiritual growth. I felt safe and supported through it all. I am the kind of person who challenges myself to change and I've made so much progress that in some ways I don't recognize myself...in a good way!

But this week, things with T took a turn for the worse. I've wanted to work on my relationship status. I'm single and wanting to find a boyfriend. I had been doing some online stuff, then quit that over lots of dead ends and disappointments. It wasn't really a huge deal until a man wrote me a note at my work email saying he had seen my profile on the online platform. It was kind of a strange little note, somewhat opaque and I brought it up to my T. Kind of as an example of the general exasperated feeling I'm having about meeting men, dating, the world of online possibility but also the chances for misunderstanding and a sort of inorganic, disembodied hurt.

At this point, T launches into what she calls the Devil's Advocate. She explained how terrifying it must be to be a straight white guy in today's world, climate for dating etc. I was kind of flabbergasted as she continued to stress how women's anger might be causing this guy who emailed me to feel. I told her that I wasn't there for a session to engage around some other person's feelings that I had no connection with and how I was not in therapy to deal with the confusion and terror of white men at this political moment. At this point the discussion went completely haywire, ending with my long time therapist declaring that "with an attitude like yours, how are you going to be open to finding a relationship anyway?"

I'm completely blown away. I ended the appointment being angry and confused. My T suggested that we could decide to end the work together... another big surprise...or to have further discussion. I basically stumbled out the door, returned to my job and had a surreal afternoon.

I can't believe I'm at this point after two years of life changing progress.
Thoughts?