Hello Wanting: I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. Personally, I've never done marijuana. But I have to say that smoking it, or doing street drugs, it seems to me is like throwing gasoline on glowing embers for anyone who has any type of mental health issues. Maybe that's just my own personal prejudice. But there it is.

You mentioned seeing your doctor. But you didn't mention seeing a therapist. So, if that's not something you're doing, perhaps the time has come? You may, at some point, also want to consider seeing a psychiatrist for your mental health issues... again assuming you're not already doing so. (From what you wrote it sounds as though the doctor you mention in your post is probably a GP.) Fear & worry have been my constant companions over the years. So I know how debilitating it can be to carry those things around 24 / 7. I wish you well...