I got my first ssi payment. It was a backpay check for 2250. I spent 600 on amazon. And they were things i needed like a orange couch for 170. I have two couches and one is old and nasty. I also bought a twin bed and all i have is a matress. I cant sleep in big beds unless i have my dog. I need a small bed. That was ordered on amazon for 65. I got a twin matress with memory foam for 100, maybe some junk i didnt need like a picture of a yorkie reading a book, but anyways, it gave me a rush when i clicked "place order." It was like a shot of espresso. I then went and bought a harness for my dog. Its such cool colors and its a backpack so she can put her water and food in it. That gave me a rush. So i calmed myself down and thought "what really do i need?" All i needed for the day was hairspray $3 and a loaf of bread $1. So im staying off amazon, but suddenly i want to try heroin. Ive never had that thought before. I also feel very focused, more than ive been in a long time. Its like ive taken adderall. Then the weirdest thing happened. I started cleaning the kitchen. I dont feel hypomanic. I took a prn valium because it drops me down a notch and that really helps. Is it just excitement from the money or did it trigger a hypomanic episode. Btw i dont feel like taking heroin now but 3 hours ago i felt so compulsive i would have which scares me. I dont feel like my classic manic/hypomanic but its also winter and thats when i get manic, summer is depression. And i live in wisconsin so everyone hates winter here.