This has been bothering me a lot lately. I was sexually abused from 5-10 and I'm starting to come to terms with how manipulative my abuser was. I was told semen was called "special love." I had to take my clothes off to get special love. I had to let him touch me in ways I hated and engage in oral sex because only then could I have love. Love. Sex was love.

I just had to type these words. I'm sorry.