Thanks for your rant! I'm 69. And I feel pretty-much the same way you do I think. I don't see a therapist. I've tried a few in the past for brief periods over the years. But, in my case, it just never seemed to amount to anything. I still technically have a pdoc. But I'm not on med's & I have no plans to see him again.

I didn't become actively involved with the mental health system where I live until around age 50 or so. But my sense is that I was already excess baggage on the mental health railroad, so to speak. From my perspective, mental health services are for young people. (And perhaps that's the way it should be... I don't know.) The older one gets, the less anyone cares about your mental health issues.

I have a deep-seated need to understand what happened to me that I turned out the way I did. But the reality is I'm never going to know. And no one within the mental health system is interested in helping me even if they could. (Realistically they probably couldn't anyway.) So my plan is to just live my life & do my best not to ruminate over it. The world is a mess. There's nothing I can do about any of it. I think we'd all probably be a lot better off if we could simply accept that we are who we are & it's okay. Best wishes with regard to having fun & travelling!