constancy, meaning object constancy... loosely it refers to being able to hold onto or remain connected, the feeling stays level and does not disappear when the "object" is removed.. or thats how i've always defined it, i may be off some.

i wish i knew sister. i call and leave messages.. to hear his voice.. to get a tangible sign that he is still there.. but i don't know.

i dont feel he is gone between sessions, i feel *i* am gone... i don't exist for *him* when i am not in my chair. i am instantly replace by bob, bill, john or whoever the %#@&#! that pretty girl is who is sometimes waiting there for the next appt.

i think the two have to at least ru parallel if not be interdependent. Are you pushing him away in your mind bw sessions? like unable to accept connection.... or you feel he withdraws? In the latter i would think it is a trust issue for sure, the first one? i dunno.

mine is trust related... am i replaced? does he give a %#@&#! whether i go home happy or in misery? there is a problem with wanting to be on T's mind you know? we all do that... but i just want him to just every so often wonder if i am ok. i don't think he does. i am rejecting it, rejecting the idea of caring, etc... so bw sessions he can't *be* there.

i dunno, maybe that doesn't make sense.