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Doh2007 said:
I'm just taking a guess, but could this be transference? Sometimes we relate to people in authoritative positions with feelings that are buried in our childhoods.

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I've read about transference now.....and I agree that it could have something to do with it. I think the feeling of being out of control I have and the fear that they could put me into hospital against my will, is bringing back the emotions I felt when I was being abused. I feel violated to some extent because they have asked me personal probing questions and I have been a good little compliant girl again and told them everything. Also my CPN and I swap DVD's and he keeps them for ages - I know what he's doing.....its so he always has an excuse to come and see me (to return or pick up the DVD's) - well this reminds me of my paedo godfather grooming me. I'm not sure if this makes sense, but it's how I feel.