In the beginning... in early therapy... it was a fading "away" kinda thing.... (am the host)...... it.... felt.... like... a long... tunnel.. type thing...

and... if I... decide to be present... and a I am stressed... and try to stay in "control".... I still get that... fuzzy... unreal... feeling....and... for ... me.. it.. is grounding.. tech... like.. putting your feet.. on the floor.. and feeling... them... and... noticing... the temp... and... things... around... you... that... keep... me... present... that is without... a huge trigger... I can do ...that...

Then.... if I decide... to give up... control... in a non... stressed... situation... it.. is just easy.... I metally... step... back... and let an alter... take... control...

Then... lately.... there have been... a few times... I have wanted to leave.... and just could not.... that frustrates me.... that was... during... therapy... sessions... when .. I did not.. want to talk to the therapist.... that is.. frustrating... to not be able to "escape"...

hope this makes... at least a little sense....