I’m in therapy now with a female therapist. I’ve seen her for 8 months and at my last session I finally told her I was abused as a kid. Nothing more. I said I couldn’t talk about it. It came out only because my bf noticed the signs and asked me directly if I was inappropriately touched by someone. I didn’t know how to respond so I changed the subject and had to bring it up with her at my appt to find out what to do should it come up again. I was surprised that she told me I didn’t have to tell him anything (because I don’t see him as an emotionally supportive person in my life). She said I could deny it or continue to redirect him to something else. I guess this opens the doors to discussing it more with her but I really really REALLY don’t want to.

I’ve never heard of a letter of restorative justice. Maybe someday. I’m too scared to put the words to paper. Even now as I type this I am in private mode on my browser. It just hit me last night how F%#*%ed up it was of him to call it love. My whole life I’ve struggled to understand love and believing it only comes with sex.

Bunnyhabbit: I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you found the right combo of meds to help you. I rely on Xanax way more than I should but it’s the only med that can turn off my flashbacks when they come on strong.