It sounds a bit like something I used to do. Well, at least the research on aomeone and then "accidentally" meeting them. Do you have an idea what that person means to you and why you're so obsessed with that person? In the past, I never knew and thought I was just weird and sick. Now, that has changed since i know more about it. Im not sure how similar this is to yours, but if you want to, you can pm me.

I myself tell my T all the real hard stuff because I am at a point where I need to give my all in therapy necause its pretty much my last straw. I hope you can confide in your T and get the support you need.