Quote:
Originally Posted by Amyjay
I don't believe I attached to anyone as an infant. T tells me some part of me must have but I don't believe that. I have used the parents for getting things I wanted or needed but I absolutely contest the idea that there was any form of emotional attachment with either of the parents.
It affects everything about my life, of course. I am unable to have a relationship with a human being. Nor do I want one.
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Neither do I believe that I had an attachment.
I believe I had a desperate need and I aleterd myself to fit it.
I supplied the needs that were wanted by them so that I would feel safe.
I really don't really want the drain and work of having a relationship if it involves what it has in the past. It's truly draining and exhausting.
The dream to have a relationship with someone who truly cares about you and what you are about is a rainbow dream.
It does affect everything that you are. It brings all of my sensory emotions into hyperarousal and it's painful.
The thought of being with someone and feeling at peace is a dream.