Thanks, I really wish it was getting better for my grandfather, but things are getting concerning now. He isn't really improving and my grandmother can not handle taking care of him anymore. I wish I can just have faith, but that is not part of my persona. With the love of my life, she so depressed, alone, and suffering in silence because she is patiently waiting for me to finish something I should have done a long time ago. She tells me " I know you will come back, and I am going to waiting on you, because I know your going to be the one" But back in my early 20's I was still trying to get this bucking bronco in my head under control. Now the beast listens to me. The only real severe consequence, is my manic psychosis get out of control (mostly hearing voices and paranoia) But normally 600mg of Seroquel and 4 mg of Ativan and 2 days of sleep, and I will wake up back to Mr. Gray working the old 8-5. Normally I can function under stress, but I have none or none to create. I just wish there was another way. I feel like I cant do it without getting on my black stallion and having her race across the field in a full blown sprint. But waking her is a bit unpredictable, but normally she comes alive with flowing red eyes and a mane of fire, and runs faster than anything you have ever seen. Just like people have to learn to ride a horse, I had to learn to ride my stallion (stallion=bipolar)