> pachyderm... i dunno.. i don't know if i follow what you mean.. can you give an example?

An example of what? My mind is frozen.

My point is, I think, that I do not see him listening. That is not what he is doing. Do you have any idea what I am talking about? As a person who is acting, as a person who is doing something, he is NOT listening. Have you ever experienced the awareness that someone is listening to you, someone who is listening to the "subtext" of what is going on "in the background" with you?

Most of the time, "conversations" with people involve one person saying something, then the other person saying something, then the first person saying something, then... They think they are listening to each other. But there is precious little ACTIVE listening, I think. Can you visualize someone NOT responding in any obvious way to something you say? Someone paying attention to you but not saying very much? Someone LISTENING? Listening for the next thing you say, and the next, for the story behind what you are saying?

Do you experience that happening?