I'm sorry, this is going to be a lot of the same issues I've already discussed, but I just can't do anything else right now.

For a few months I was going strong. Then I think it all started with the winter holidays. I decided to stay busy during them, which is to put as much into my hobbies as possible. Then the holidays ended, work began, I got a department-wide message that we're terrible and should increase our focus or else. And there's also the tedium and meaninglessness of my work, and having to balance listening to podcasts when what I'm doing is completely brainless, and music at full blast if extreme focus is required in something about which I don't give any ****s.

I guess the term "whiplash" could be appropriate.

And I also was on a diet, which sometimes means extreme hunger at unexpected times. That's manageable if I can focus on something else, but with work there pretty much is nothing else. So I ate a bit more. That didn't help. So I completely binged... That actually made me feel worse. I should go buy food for the evening and tomorrow, but I feel like a slimy fat slug and don't want people to see me... Although I guess it doesn't matter, since I binged.

And also I'm having difficulty focusing and normal entertainment doesn't bring me joy anymore. So I think I'm at least temporarily in this subforum.

However I did buy a videogame that I enjoy and find very stimulating in a special kind of way, meaning that it requires patience and concentration... So I don't know. That kind of seems paradoxical.

All I wish at this point is that, if I get fat again, let's at least not get back into skin-picking... But...