on a similar note.... lately i started thinking 'what the h**l happened to me?'. which is soon replaced by the thought of 'i never want to know'. but for me, it's more like age fifteen!
i can relate/understand probably half of your fears/thoughts, which is something i've never told anyone, EVER.....
and i could never understand how people could watch the tv show l&o:svu, which shockingly has been on for over fifteen years i guess