I did deserve it. She started getting all tfwo a while back and I knew what was happening. I could see it happening and kept going anyway as long as I could get what I wanted. I used this woman. That is very wrong! I can however now stop running it through my head a million times about how I'll get rid of her. That should have done it. I was an ***. I admit it. I'm ok with recognizing it was always a mistake. I'll probably beat myself up over it mentally for a while but that's my process that I also need to change. I think getting out of this was good for me and I hope for her, but it's not my problem any way it goes about her.