Hi, I'm sorry you are struggling.

I know you didn't reply this for me, but I have looked up mindfulness training online, and there is this site that has an eight week mindfulness program for free. Here is the link:
https://palousemindfulness.com/MBSR/week1.html

An app that I had for mindfulness that I used when I was trying to see if mindfulness worked for me was called HeadSpace. It's free to download. The first 10 days are free, and you can repeat them. If you want more specific things, you have to pay, but the first 10 days were really good and helpful. The voice is very calming.

I hope this helps.